The internal cravings of a woman; why women settle.

---

WARNING: A lot of quotation marks were not spared during the cause of writing this post.

In a bid to understand the concept of "settling" and what exactly we mean by that term, I took it upon myself to read articles on why women settle or why women shouldn't settle -and many more articles related to this-. Perhaps the truth is that life in itself is filled with several options, some we set as priorities, and as we go down the list we eventually get to a point where we have no choice but to settle -eventually-.

However, for the sake of this article I would be focusing on what is perceived as the top two priorities on most ladies list ; MARRIAGE and PROFESSION.

Looking at our environment, it is basically based on 'nature' and 'nurture'... home training or upbringing sits on the natural instincts of a woman to be homely and builds on it. -E

---

MARRIAGE

Women are reported to most likely settle in marriage as opposed to men, this could be as a result of several factors ranging from ones society, environment, religion or family. Most women are clearly thought the 'do's' and 'don'ts' that surround what a "marriage" should look like, and are constantly being prepped to become wife 'materials' and a mother figure. On the other hand, their male counterparts are being fed with the pressure of becoming successful, they are thought that there is no limit to what they can achieve and are rarely exposed to the concept of marriage till a much later age making one gender really prepared and the latter having no idea whatsoever on how this works.

A woman leaving a toxic marriage or relationship is more often than not continually frowned upon, having only a few people being understanding of her situation she is constantly dealt with sessions on why she should stay and endure...It is always about what people will say when a woman decides to settle. -A

Women are somehow manipulated into thinking that their soul purpose in life is to find a good, hardworking, God-fearing -the list goes on- man, and if you doubt this, take a look on most fairy tale cartoons, stories and movies having a romantic genre.

Now, I am not against getting married, as I one day hope to experience it myself, however, how much of this choice is being influenced by our environment.

Having his conversation with my friends made me understand that this is a shared thought amongst women from my part of the world and God forbid you want to focus on your career before starting a family, yet we are pushed to somehow pursue both and excel nonetheless.

So should it really be considered 'settling' when women are being trained for their husbands while it is a rare topic brought up to men at the early stage of their life. While the woman considers it her greatest achievement and the center of her existence, this is not to say that there are no good men out there - I know some myself- but the fact is that the term settling most times is always attributed to women because we are dealt with a willing but less taught counter part -spouse- , so most women result in bringing the bar a little too lower for comfort in a bid to satisfy a craving created by her environment.

PROFESSION

In the past, the phrase "a woman's place belongs in the kitchen" was one carelessly thrown around and somewhat praised by a lot, shockingly -although not soo shockingly- by women too. While I thought we were in a more advanced stage in societal growth, I was still able to come across a video where an elderly woman disregarded a woman's success because of the absence of a spouse. To my greatest disbelief she had managed to insinuate that marriage was a sort of bondage and the lady sitted across from her only seeked freedom in her career pursuit. This video attracted a lot of reactions but only one phrase remained stuck in my head 'wetin woman do woman'. A career woman is seen as selfish and stubborn because she chooses herself first, -what is wrong with that?- .

I think the concept of settling is based off environment, society, religion, circumstances, family and upbringing... peoples opinion about your situation sometimes builds a concept or idea about settling... Although it may be obvious that a person missed out on an opportunity, however, this may not have been the case if she had a better view asides what has been passed down to her from family, society etc. -O.

When the topic "why do women settle?" flashed on my screen I almost couldn't stop myself from screaming 'because of all of us!!!'. Most women marry wrong because of pressure or the need to please parent or extended family, many women have been discouraged from several careers because it is seen as a 'mans' work or again, the pressure to get married. Perhaps that is why getting married is often referred to as 'settling down'.

As women we must first decide our standard to every goal we hope to achieve both in career and matrimony. Sacrifices must be made -surely- but it should be our decision, not what our society, environment, religion or family dictates or expects, regardless of what they term as settling-except the obvious.

The world we live in creates a sort impression that the strong thrive, while the weak are left behind to struggle or slowly wither away -social Darwinism theory-, however the choice to belong to either is determined by our will. As women we must first decide our standard to every goal we hope to achieve both in career and matrimony. Sacrifices must be made -surely- but it should be our decision, not what our society, environment, religion or family dictates or expects, regardless of what they term as settling-except the obvious-. Teach the girl child that is ok to want both and focus on either based on her goal orientation, teach her that either is a great achievement and is deserving of equal effort, do not limit her desire for either pursuit.

To thrive in something you may need to relinquish another. However the beauty lies in our ability as women to thrive nonetheless, be you a house wife with a beautiful family that loves and appreciates you for your many sacrifices, or a business/career woman who has sacrificed a lot to be an inspiration to many, so that maybe together, we might finally fulfill THE INTERNAL CRAVINGS OF A WOMAN.

Until next time, have a wonderful week ahead and God bless.