Self-actualization: The woman and all she was created to be

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As I progressed in the various stages of my life, my admiration for my mother and all the women around me has only grown stronger, sometimes I wonder if I can pull through what most of them had to go through. Just like many other young ladies, I have grown up admiring many women and often times I found myself hoping to accomplish just a fraction of what they have .

You must understand the fear, excitement and astonishment that happens in every girls life the moment she realizes the role of every woman in a family and the process of childbirth, from conception to delivery. This reality has pushed a lot of women to making a decision of not giving birth to or nuturing a child for the sake of maintaining her identity and having a more comfortable life. Although everyone is entittled to there opinion, I believe that there are also women -like me- who crave the best of both worlds, and while it may not be easy, it is very possible and doable, hence my topic 'SELF-ACTUALIZATION'.

Life is a process and certain individually tailored steps are required for individual purposes, so there is no need for comparison or competition when aiming for fulfillment

Self-actualization is seen as a state of fulfillment of oneself, to reach ones full potential. It is to find ones purpose or life goals and achieving it and can be found in the peak of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, but before we delve into ways to achieve these sense of fulfilment, we must first understand that life is a process and certain individually tailored steps are required for individual purposes, so there is no need for comparison or competition when aiming for fulfillment -it defeats the purpose-

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HOW TO ACHIEVE SELF-ACTUALIZATION

Get to know you

One thing about me is my love for stories, getting to know how people have struggled and overcome different instances in their lives especially when I am going through something similar. So its no surprise I've listened to a lot of mothers talk about how they loose themselves in a bid to be present for their families, for some it is a sacrifice they would do all over again in a heartbeat while for others they'd do everything differently. But then in-between these two extreme groups where women who strived in this same environment and they all held a particular characteristic, a well defined identity. To put this in a more practical term, try writing down five things -or more- about yourself that you love and would love to hold on to for a long period of time, then watch the list grow as time progresses and stick to it.

Identify your passion and purpose

What makes you TICK?- For me, writing had always been it, at the age of 7 I started my first book, sad to say I do not know where that dusty old note book is but happy that at least it got read by some close friends and family at that point. Although I have greatly improved from that primary school kid with her pen and 40 leaves notebook , I am glad that at that young age she recognized her passion and held on to it almost 20 years later. unlike me, your passion and talent may lie in singing, or drawing or dancing and while these are all amazing I have met many people who feel that since they do not belong to either of the above they have none. What we fail to see is that our passion points out those hidden talents we never considered as one, some are great organizers -you dare not move something from its original position-, some are good with management, dishing out advice, public speaking, planning and a million other things. Finding out your purpose shouldn't be such a hurdle if you pay close attention to your passion.

Build healthy relationships

No man really is an island, hence the need for relationships -healthy relationships-. Get yourself a group of friends or a friend that can support and encourage you through this journey, they could also comprise of your family. Learn to nurture them, remember even a self-actualized person also has her rough days and needs good people around. Always make out time for those relationship even with your busy schedule, be it with your spouses, partners, friends, family and even kids if you have any.

Adopt positive habits

It's always fun and exciting to learn new things, just as it's always challenging and inspiring to stick a routine. With a wide range of positive habits spreading across learning new skills, reading, exercise, meditation - you name it- picking one or a few can help bring balance to your life. In the midst of a chaotic day for me it was always worth it to find something constant and calming, so I delved into listening to podcasts or reading books and eventually I started doing my own little skin care routine to show myself some love.

Start working

Now that we are done with the theoretical part of self-actualization, how about putting it into practice. Remember to start slowly and find your pace, there is no competition out there in becoming the better version of yourself. Having the family to take care of, school, work and other engagements sometimes demands a lot from us but we must not neglect ourselves.

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My journey to becoming like most of my role models is only just starting, and I am grateful for the past year -2023- that has brought me closer to becoming this self-actualized woman.

The new year always comes with it a lot of opportunities, and what better time to begin this journey of self-actualization than now. Until next time, I wish you all a prosperous year ahead!!