A Nigerian myth on menstruation and puberty
- zubechiugwu
- Jan 24, 2024
- 4 min read
I would also have loved to title this "A Nigerian mother's teenage contraceptive" - perhaps we can ignore the actual title and go with this-. Till date, one of my most prominent childhood memories, in relation to tales shared by young girls of their mothers shenanigan's was when a friend of mine told me of how her mother had sternly instructed her not to allow any boy touch her, especially during her period, else she would get pregnant. This story didn't seem alien to most of us present at that gathering as some agreed to being told the same thing or heard about it via other friends or relatives. In the case of this said friend, she held on to this caution with such devoutness until much later in life when the inevitable eventually happened. she was touched by a cousin during her monthly period-Aru eme !!-
You can only imagine the shock, pain and fear that had registered at that instant, she didn't hide the fact that, at that point of contact she saw her life flash before her eyes as she pictured the disappointment on her mothers face and to make matters worse, by a cousin. The tears wouldn't cease even though her elder sister had tried convincing her it was all a lie and it continued until her mother returned and confirmed those words. Of course now we have a better understanding of how one comes to be with child but we can only imagine what must have possibly gone through her mind while she laid curled up and face soaked in her own tears.
There really is no time frame to when puberty decides to kick in and this of course is different in every child
Once in secondary school, I had heard a teacher-female- tell a fellow classmate that she was only developing faster - physically- than her mates because she believed the young girl to have been exposed to the exploits of men. Somehow she had skipped the part that there really is no time frame to when puberty decides to kick in and this of course is different in every child. The list goes on and on, ranging from religious to traditional myths and beliefs that somehow negates the knowledge of what menstruation and female sexual growth is all about.
As much as the intention of our mothers were tied to the need of preserving their daughters virtue it also came from a place of fear, and as archaic as this might sound it is a tale still very much told especially in the rural areas of our country.
If we do not school our kids about their sexuality, they are people out there willing to fill their minds with all sorts of ideas -the internet granting them such platforms-.
There is a need to educate the girl child on the changes that occurs within her body as times go by and to be completely transparent about it as simply keeping quiet doesn't solve the problem that was present in the first place. A lot of people look at sex education as a taboo especially in this part of the world. I do believe there is time for everything but if we do not school our kids about their sexuality, they are people out there willing to fill their minds with all sorts of ideas -the internet granting them such platforms-.
EDUCATIONAL POINTS FOR THE GIRL CHILD
Menstruation- The age range around which the girl child starts to see her period lies between the ages of 10 to 16 -or earlier in some cases-, but even before this, a proper breakdown on the topic of menstruation should be discussed. Sadly, in my case, the first time I heard about menstruation was at a presentation by a health group during break time in my primary school, the boys were disgusted and the girls left with pale faces and a strip of pad perfectly hidden beneath their skirt to shield their embarrassment. We must educate the girl child that there is no shame in menstruation as it is a natural phenomenon, teach her to how to maintain proper hygiene, how to chart/observe her menstrual cycle and the symptoms that might be present. The first time she hears about menstruation shouldn't be the first time she bleeds.
Secondary sexual changes (Puberty)- A lot of young girls are constantly teased due to the rapid changes that embraces her as she passes through puberty, this we could term as 'body shaming' causing these young girls develop a low self esteem. No child should be allowed to go through this if it can be helped with the much needed information. This period is the the time to teach her modesty, self love and virtue as soon she would naturally start attracting the attention of the opposite sex. Teach her that although her essence flows outwardly, there is still need to protect the virtue of being woman. Also educate the male child on how to value not just the physical aspect but the virtue hidden in every woman
Sex education- Exposing a child to the possible dangers associated with sex and other values surrounding it is important, not just coining up some made up story to frighten them. These physical changes experienced during puberty are also accompanied with hormonal changes which in turn introduces sexual urges into the mix, to some kids these urges are described to as a "sin" and are left contemplating in naivety on how to deal with or avoid it, while to others, they are quickly exposed to its ecstasy with no guidance whatsoever. Sex education doesn't only involve talking about the act itself but its associated peripherals including ;Safe sex practice which helps in providing information on and preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases (STI's), Pregnancy preventive measure including the use of contraceptives or abstinence having 100% effectiveness, and the true purpose of sex.
Although we may like to believe that most of these myths and fallacies surrounding menstruation and puberty has reduced drastically, there is still work to be done in regards to educating children, as the truth still remains that most teenagers get the information they think they need from the internet -unfiltered and unguided- rather than from parents or guardians as is expected. We cannot simply send a child into the world to navigate these changes without the proper guidance and information -both boys and girls-.
Until next time, enjoy the week ahead!!
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